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Hail Soccer Mom!

you are soooo God like...

This is Dark Cloud on Wednesday, October 16, 1996.

Bob Dole, busy composing coherent sentences for the debate tonight, is most hurt in this election because he is losing among the soccer moms, among all the others. Soccer Moms - of which Boulder must lead the world - are allegedly white, suburban, conservative and overworked. It is the pain of their exhaustion that Clinton hears and responds to so well, we are told, and why he is leading in all polls.

I’m sorry, but every time I hear the term “soccer mom” I go bananas, especially because the term is most used to introduce a news feature on such a precious creature. So overworked.

What crap. To a matron, Soccer Moms are composed almost entirely of fishwives whose interest in soccer is the gossip and society of other Moms. Left to the children, soccer might well prove to be far less popular than supposed. It fills up time which the hard-worked soccer mom would just spend on the phone complaining about their lives anyway. This way, they have the cover of the children and their martyrdom to the youngsters conceals the real benefits.

Why does this bother me? Well, you hear all the time about how hard Americans work now, and how much more time we spend at work. I hasten to point out that time at the place of occupation does not equal actual work. If you subtract personal phone calls alone from the average workers earning time, he is hardly working harder. He’s only there longer.

This is a vision of our existence that press and camera insist upon. Trying to make us all into martyrs - victims, really - of our choice to have kids and to afford a new car to drive kids to an athletic contest whose real purpose is adult, not children’s, is a classic example of a self-serving lie. anyone who thinks adults work harder today than thirty years ago is simply buying into a major falsehood.

And that is why Dole is behind among Soccer Moms as well as everyone else. Dole doesn’t understand real life, and the fictions of martyrdom so necessary to average people to get thought their day. He thinks it’s true. Clinton knows it isn’t, but plays to the image.

Poor, poor us. Feel sorry for us, world neighbor, our three well-fed kids have nothing else to do but play soccer five days a week after school. Donald called me five times today from work. Isn’t the coach cute? I’m so tired.