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The Freakin' FAGS Did It!

Or Women. It could have been a woman.......

This is Dark Cloud on Wednesday, May 07, 1997.

I suppose we should not be surprised. After all, the Navy did it, so why should we be surprised if the Air Force does it. I’m referring, of course you know, to the offered solution to the A-10 Thunderbolt, called a Warthog, crashing into a Colorado mountain by a pilot who deliberately left his squadron over Arizona and headed north. Big mystery, all this. Especially when the Air Force, through one of its trained shills in the press, suggested that the reason the pilot did this was because he was gay, was upset about being revealed as such, and apparently killed himself. That could all very well be true, I suppose, but the pedigree for such conclusions being correct is not, shall we say, strong.

We all recall that in the late 1980’s, a battleship suffered a turret explosion and killed a bunch of sailors. The Navy, after a probing investigation, announced the culprit: a man who was gay and upset over the end of his affair with someone else. This received serious consideration, but to relieve the stress we ought to mention that due to a lawsuit and appropriate noises from people with three digits in their IQ, the posthumous charges were dropped and the Navy admitted it really had no evidence to support such a charge. None. History buffs will now recall that since the launching of the first dreadnought, these things have regularly suffered turret explosions in peace and war. The battleship in question was using powder loads over forty, maybe fifty, years of age firing shells perhaps older. Anyone see a chance for an accidental explosion?

Various juries did, but...well, not the Navy, then suffering its first casualties in the war against sex, or more properly, the war against admitting sex. Only fags, the subtext instructs us, are stupid and irrationally emotional enough to have done something that, that, destructive in this man’s navy. If this incident happens to flame public opinion against the admitted integration of gays and, what the hey, women into the armed forces, that would only be a shocking coincidence.

So here we have the Air Force, out of nowhere, letting some newspaper run with this story, remarkably short of verifiable evidence, even though this news came as something of a shock to family, friends, and especially girl friends of the pilot. Like I say, it could all be true, but how come it only emerges now, with the pilot safely dead? Only when the brass was sure of that fact does this story emerge. How come not during the previous month when the collected wisdom of National Security, the behemoths that were to protect us from missile attack, were trying to trace the last hours of a slow, loud jet that had eyewitnesses to its flaming crash near Vail. This bureaucracy had equipped itself with spy satellites that could read Moscow horoscopes over the shoulders of Pravda readers, and they were then suggesting they had not clue one what in hell had happened? For all they actually knew, the pilot could have refueled and flown to North Korea. They still don’t know what the motivation for the pilot’s actions were, but they’re going to take advantage of the situation and try to protect themselves and the status quo in the meanwhile.

It is an active war. Last month, a Marine officer wrote to Newsweek shedding crocodile tears at all the female fighter pilots who were costing us all this money crashing millions of dollars of planes because they couldn’t cut it in the military. They were, maybe, great at making civilian pilots, he said, but simply were not men and capable of, you know, man stuff. His forebears thought blacks made excellent iced tea and were terrific in the kitchen, but, you know, really couldn’t handle weapons in the Navy. This was a pretty gutsy - if stupid - thing, revealing yourself to be a Neanderthal. That Marine must have thought the time was right. It took another officer to point out that the letter writer had himself crashed a warplane by lousy peacetime flying and had a less than stellar record, and wasn’t remotely qualified to comment about women. Like I say, it is an interesting war.

So from the Marines, who defy comment, to the Navy that gave us Tailhook and a borrowed tradition of drunken homoerotic and homosexual activity inherited from the British, to the Army with its legion of martinet drill sergeants raping recruits, we now have the Air Force, the newest and the overall least physically demanding service, trying to blast through their perceived enemies in the social wars with the body fragments of a young pilot. I’d like to know who precisely provided such personal information to a small newspaper, how they obtained it, and if they will hang if it turns out not to be true. I doubt it.

The military always makes such a big deal out of how they stick together like brothers, because you have to trust your mates in combat. Unless, of course, you’re conveniently female, gay, or dead. Then you’re just putty to be used as needed in the war against the present administration that did the unthinkable: essentially admitting that gays are already in the military, and have acquitted themselves as well as anyone for centuries. Hey, loyalty only goes so far, right? Bloody fags...