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Vince Foster

Revenge of the Psychotic Nerds

This is Dark Cloud on Wednesday, July 16, 1997.

Vince Foster committed suicide. This may not come as a news flash to you, but apparently even a hypocritically formed lynch mob under the guise of an independent prosecutor could not force the facts to conform to a less attractive conclusion, which in aggregate, was that after a torrid affair with the first Lady, Foster was murdered because he knew too much about the Clinton’s sordid sex lives and illegal thefts of public funds. This has high attractions among those types with frigid marriages and a long-standing envy since high school towards those who clearly lead a more exciting and personally fulfilling life. Bill Clinton, smooth talking, ambitious, sharp, and apparently very attractive to the more robust members of the female gender, drives these people bananas. Especially with his approval ratings now at 64%, his highest.

Worse, for the Republicans, one of their famed Arkansas State troopers - one of the ones who supposedly acted as official pimps and procurers for then Governor Clinton - came forward and publicly announced a statement he had privately made over a year ago to the investigating bodies. To wit, he had never seen anything himself that besmirched Clinton’s halo himself, and that the whole thing had been done for money, and that a rather desperate Republican enemy of Clinton in Arkansas had fronted the whole thing. This was all on Dateline last night. What to say about it.

Well, this. Ever since Chappaquidick, a genuinely sordid and important corruption of justice by Kennedy money and politics, Republicans have tried desperately to paint the Democrats as nothing more than Teamster thugs risen high. They do this to offset their own image as rich punks who inherit or marry their campaign funds. When Watergate three years later revealed that even Jimmy Hoffa would have shuddered at the sleaze around Nixon’s attempts to use the FBI and CIA as Republican campaign thugs, the GOP was frozen with rage and impotence. Ever since, they have promised themselves and their more right wing elements that no future FDR or JFK will get the free ride in the press. And along came Bill Clinton, sloppy in his personal life, naive as to motivations, and with an apparent slew of buxom bimbos along with his own attractive and bright wife. To the Dan Quayles of the world, married to an unsensual woman whose cemented hairstyle recalls a Cape Buffalo after a perm, Bill Clinton was salt on the wound of the Family Values Party. They literally foam with impotent rage at Bill Clinton’s real and imagined sex life.

It is somewhat sophomoric to reduce a presidential special prosecutor and his Crusade to revenge about sex, but if the truth be told, isn’t it? Look and listen to Kenneth Starr. You may prefer him over Bill Clinton to date your sister, but which of them is more likely to end up as a serial sex killer, dealing with repressed sexual issues all his life, often unknowingly. Ever since the Kennedy years, where the husband of Jackie was also bopping Marilyn Monroe and other Hollywood beauties, the more outrageously and clearly frustrated Republicans have taken to accusing Democrats of sexual improprieties that aren’t even of interest to the majority of Americans, much less a shock, much less a campaign issue. And this rather numbing hypocrisy has come home to roost in the Kenneth Starr’s prosecution of Bill Clinton’s sex life.

I know it is supposed to be about money and foreign influence, but we all know it isn’t. It is a thinly disguised Revenge of the Nerds against someone who has had a lot happier life then they have had. Or continue to have.