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1999

January

6th Fidel's Cuba: Irrelevant or Simply Silly?
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ........................
13th Two Gatherings of Moral Giants End Diogenes' Quest
Impeachment, the Olympics, and Hey!….That's My Lantern……….
20th It's His Mojo, Stupid
A Sneaking Suspicion Women's Attraction to Clinton Fuels His Enemies
27th Henry Hyde Leads the Charge
And Richard Simmons IS James Bond…….

February

3rd The Old Man of The Mountain
Abortion Assassins Anew
10th St. William's Heir
Bill McCartney and Rick Neuheisel and CU Football
17th If It Wasn't For Her….
Why Hillary Clinton Drives Certain Men Batshit
24th Precedent Does Not Console
The Y2K Bug Looms

March

3rd White Female Journalist Loses Lipstick Covering Four Million Starving Africans!
NATO Schedules Air Drop of Kiss Me Pink
10th Camera! Action!
Er, but not on me, okay?
17th Now Entering The Lists
Republicans Field The Clown Team
24th In Memory of Charles Sawtelle
We'll Take It From Here, Slade…
31st Kosovo War
Scale of Tyrants

April

7th Air Power Alone
It's Never Worked, But Its Attractions Increase
14th Grab Bag For the Ides of April
April 15 Promises More Ill Every Year, But McDougal Gives Hope for Friendship
21st We've Got To Suffer If We Want to View The Newssssss......
You a Victim of Columbine Shooting? I'm Not. The Ethics of News Coverage
28th Tom Toth, I Barely Knew Ye
Professional Grievers: Would I Score More Points If I Actually Fall To My Knees?

May

5th Contemporary Religion 101
Hold on the Cancer Cure, Big Guy; It's Fourth and Short and the Game's On The Line
12th Two Men
George Mallory and Shel Silverstein
19th America: The World's Most Violent Nation?
If You're An Absolute Idiot.....
26th For Richer, For Poorer for a Reasonable Amount of Time.....
Dump the Wedding Extortion

June

2nd Heroes' Victims
New York Cops Hit New Low in Sado-Sexual Assault on Innocent Man
9th Republican Military Genius Takes It In The Slats
Clinton's Derided War in Kosovo Seems to Have Done The Trick
16th Ah Yes, A Convention Center...
They're Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacckkkkk
23rd Sorry, Your Honor, I Was Distracted By My Dog
Stephen King's near death was an accident? Near Manslaughter, rather.
30th A Hobby for Cynics
I'm-A-Little-Hypocritical-Putting-God-In-This-AgriBill

July

7th The Chair Recognizes the Carpetbagger from The State of New York....
Hillary Clinton Moves On
14th Dem Southerners Is Crazy, I Tell's Ya
NASCAR? Naw. Swamp Coolers alls the proof you'se needs....
21st Often, Happily, Right
The Kennedy male who everyone liked
28th Glee of Vengeance and Career Advancement
The goals of the justice system have shifted....

August

4th There's Gold in The Sex Surveys
questionable surveys and an unstable glossary of terminology mar the facts
11th Okay, Let's Try It Again With Some Emotion, People? Okay?
Proper Media Behavior 101: Trained Responses
18th Dude, Party at Tiffany's
The Columbine Community Hasn't Found the Enemy Yet: It's Them
25th The 10th Mt Tourist Assault Force Reports
Another Wacky Drug War Theory

September

1st Waco Again
Let's put Custer's Survivors in Charge of Wounded Knee and the FBI in Charge of Waco
8th There's A Riot Goin' On
"Okay, cue the cops. That's right. Can we get more screaming drunken women with bare midriffs in camera? Okay people, is it too much to ask for some real conviction? Huh? Is it? Okay, cue the polluted loudmouths...."
15th Floyd's A Sissy Name
Hurricanes and Their History
22nd Does White Make Right?
An American Mission Statement
29th Why Johnny Can't Think
Stupidity and Ignorance Have Lobby Groups

October

6th Japan's Nuclear Crock
Fifteen Nuclear Plants on Fault Lines at Sea Level? Didn't They Learn Anything from Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Didn't We?
13th The Featherbedders Among Us
Think Your Job Is Important? Think Again.
20th The Greatest
It is No Insult to Ali That Jim Thorpe Was the Best Athlete Ever
27th Crisis!
Bite Me, Lardbutt. I'll Show You a Crisis.

November

3rd An Election
monorail, light rail, lunch pails, and RTD
10th Cackling Old White Men
Mandatory Student Fees Are of No Interest Unless It Hurts The Team
17th Watering the Celestial Garden
Lewis Thomas, scientist, melded art and fact
24th Criminal
The Use of Statistics to Lie Has Reached Unlawful Levels

December

1st Rockwell Kent - Artist
The Seattle frauds against the WTO can make you forget that there are genuine heroes
8th What to Do About Cuba
Left and Right Conspire to Use Traumatized Child as Pawn in Stupid Game
15th And At The End, A Charlie Brown Christmas
Peanuts, a strip about the Thirties confused with the Fifties, and Enjoyed into the Nineties, Can Successfully Stand for the 20th Century
22nd It's Special, Isn't It?
The Millennium Ain't For More Reasons Than Are Polite to Discuss at Christmas
29th In This Century
Five Moments