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Patsy, Jenna, and the Temple of Doom

Bush's House of Glass

This is Dark Cloud on Wednesday, June 06, 2001.

The Longest Day. An Atlanta attorney for the Ramseys has used the untimely death of a young man to further lower the bar of decency. The young man, a photographer for the Daily Camera, was recently killed by lightening. The attorney wrote a letter to the editor in which the young man's qualities were extolled, apparently based on exceedingly brief contact by phone, and in length and manner to channel public opinion and draw attention to the attorney and the public rehabilitation of his sleazoid clients. Not since Patsy Ramsey found it necessary to walk alongside her daughter in the Parade of Lights has such a nauseating display of hypocrisy been seen in the case that is the new benchmark for the term. It is only fitting that the Ramseys - who don't seem to understand that it is their own unconvincing act, ham-fisted bids for pity, inappropriate photo ops, and emotional disconnect from the Christmas murder of their child in their own home that convict them - would hire an attorney just as ethically tone deaf.

And just as charming, one of President Bush's daughters is up for the candy-ass charge of again using a borrowed ID to obtain alcohol. Please. Although the President is, by his own stories, despite his denials clearly an alcoholic, and such runs in families and it would be unlikely that none of his descendents absorbed the gene, it would be horribly unfair to make a big deal out of it given that the vast majority of American college students begin their adult lives as criminals with forged identifications to obtain illegal substances to imbibe, thus setting the scene for our national hypocrisy about law and order. I agree that nobody should use the issue of the President's daughters against him or for any purpose except for one thing: imagine if Chelsea Clinton had been caught with the fake ID during her first year at Stanford.

The Republican press would have harped upon the criminal fraud nature of the fake id, started criminal investigation over who provided it, hounded them about contributing to the delinquency of a minor, suggested that the First Lady was a drunk - they already knew the President was a pothead - and wrapped it all in religious and moral issues. Recall, they felt no qualms about suggesting Hilary Clinton was gay, absent any evidence but revealing a lot about their own private fetishes. You know that would have happened. Recall that John McCain, who is now cast as such a decent man, told a joke about why Chelsea was so ugly, and the punch line was that Janet Reno was the father. Given the recent history, you have to credit the Democrats with more restraint and decency than the Republicans ever had. Having said this, I hope they don't start. With Trent Lott bitter and going crazy, who knows what regrettable things will be said in the next week.

And of course, President Bush hid behind his children when it was revealed he had a drunk driving record, something the allegedly loathsome Clintons never did. Bush constructed a large glass house very quickly and assembled a quarry of hand sized rocks by the hedge. He has lost the Senate, his alcohol problems revisit, the Florida vote is under sustained fire, and his tax cut turns out to be a big sham that takes place in a decade, after he leaves office and when the public will need to finance the boomer generation in the Home. So he claims credit for a dubious benefit and leaves the horror for his successors, much as he did for Texas, which is now bankrupt despite the huge demand for oil and gas. Texas was scorched by Bush's tax cuts. And the Federal Civil Rights Commission has accused Florida and Governor Jeb Bush and his Tammy Fay Baker clone of severe violations in the Presidential election, and apparently there is evidence, although I haven't seen it. This the same week that Janet Reno may decide to run against him for Governor. Current polls show her slightly ahead. What sweet revenge for 'Chelsea's father' if she wins.

However, it is in the otherwise negligible state of Nepal that the world turns today. An entire Royal Family is wiped out at dinner, either in an unexpected argument over the heir's choice of wives with his mother, or because of an accident. How either explains the presence of an automatic weapon defies comment, but the accident theorem may be the most ridiculous cover story since American black men were accused of suicide last century when they were shot, stabbed, beaten, and hung from a tree before being burned. The only people who conceivably benefit from this are the Chinese, but that is a stretch unless they already have bribed the new King, the third in four days. Still, this is a conspiracy that makes the Kennedy assassination look like an episode of Scooby Doo. And it's more interesting than the drinking habits of the First Family, or the latest scam of the Ramseys.