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Maybe This Would Help......

.....maybe not

This is Dark Cloud on Wednesday, September 09, 2009.

Back in the 1980’s, looser interpretation by the FCC allowed people to use the word “penis” on the air, and with the rabid ferocity of the sexually frustrated male majority in mind, station managers immediately hired female morning DJ’s, coincidently youngish and good looking and willing to bare cleavage for the giant highway signs, paired them with one or two men, and watched their ratings climb. Such was the hope, anyway. The woman’s role was to use the word “penis” as often as tender logic allowed in the supposed banter, followed by the guffaws and salacious jokes of the generally idiotic males. Inadvertently, a top ten song might be played among the loud commercials, then entering the phase featuring forced humor playlets of conversations between sultry voiced women and male yokels. It was loud, it was stupid, and it was embarrassing, but not for the reasons you might reasonably think I’d offer that. The whole schtick was based on the premise that most men never heard good looking women talk dirty in real time, as if to them. The commercials underlined it. To a degree, it worked.

Since all the commercial, especially AM, stations essentially did the same thing, nothing much changed as far as ratings, but listeners stuck in traffic could switch stations every 10 second block and stand a good chance of hearing the word “penis” said by a different woman. Or, so I’ve heard. But, those were the innocent days before Howard Stern employed strippers to wrestle nude in his studio. A radio studio. If it worked for Edgar Bergen, a radio ventriloquist, why not?

Those magic days of commercial radio, hallowed in memory, are mostly gone but if anything it’s worse, today. They all sound like a parody of Short Attention Span Theater. And all the old jokes about the listenership – they’re allowed to vote AND breed? – have suddenly turned up in ways that aren’t so, er, funny. An electorate of home schooled or Self Esteem curriculum ignorants, as worldly as graduates of Our Lady of Perpetual Agony High, as obese as Carl’s Jr. can make them, the men playing Fantasy Football with more enthusiasm than they bring to their jobs or family, the women attending Teen Time Tummy Trouble self delusion seminars, is straining to understand what the administration is trying to do with health care, and the GOP is appealing to the same reptilian cerebral cortex level response synapses that those former Dixiecrats used during the Civil Rights horrors of the Sixties. It’s not pretty.

Congressman Saxby Chambliss, a Georgia GOP Chickenhawk, suggested publicly this week that Barack Obama better show some humility in his speech. Those of us who lived through this before knows exactly what that means, and who it’s appealing to. He doesn’t want our president – now shield your ears – to be an uppity Ne-gro to his intended audience of Georgia racists. Chambliss, of course, is one of the low hanging fruits – a common description of today’s Christian GOP - of Nixon’s Southern Strategy to bring the Dixiecrats over from the party of FDR and LBJ. In the old days, he’d have been a Democrat, because all southern bigots were because all southerners couldn’t stomach belonging to the party of Lincoln. Nixon solved that, and Democrats should light a candle in thanks to him. It was a greater gift than Watergate if appreciated for what it is.

Tuesday, Obama gave a boilerplate but still effective and sometimes moving speech to school children, telling them that they have a responsibility to take advantage of their free education and implying that planning a life doomed to feature NFL or NBA rejection or being a movie star or mere celebritard lacked sense and was a failure of their obligation to the nation but, more importantly, to themselves. The GOP tried to shield children from that Kenyan socialist/Nazi mind bending, but Obama won through. Somehow.

The way to win the health care debate is to chart out what doing nothing will result in by 2015 vs. a program with a public option. People don’t appreciate that, as in crime and schooling, we end up paying for failure under different headings one way or the other anyway. Lousy, boring, incompetent schools means paying for prison time and/or lawsuits by the Innocence Project later. Does anyone think that a foolishly obese nation with heads of households dying of congestive heart failure or cancer at 55, leaving the family broke and destitute after paying for redundant or unnecessary medical testing and poorly monitored pharmaceutical ingestion by pointlessly exhausted emergency room staff is the mark of an elite superpower? Apparently.

Maybe if Beyonce and Angelina stand by him and chant “penis” and giggle ever 45 seconds during his speech tonight, people will pay attention and shape up, because putting all the expense under health care is subtracting it from elsewhere.