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Resolutions for the New Year

No problem, glad to do it.....

This is Dark Cloud on Wednesday, December 30, 2009.

The morning this was to be broadcast, the computer died. Revival attempts failed, including drop kicking across the parking lot. So, this is a virtual commentary that was never heard.

So, we celebrate the end of a decade, at least if you cannot count. Ten years ago, we were inundated with con-men trying to profit from the Y2k issues that did not exist. A few years later, many moved on to other conspiracy theories involving the 9-11 attacks, election returns, and presidential birth certification.

And since it is the Season, and since they clearly do no good and because this is the least listened to commentary of the year, time for some New Year's reservations for other people.

Your first resolution is to give up pretending that Iraq and Afghanistan are actual nations, or that anybody born within their borders has ever felt nation and its attendant government was more important than their family, tribe, and religion because the elevation of language allows the media to contort it to template and allows lazy politeness to posture and the violence continues.

Your second resolution is to write letters of support to the road manager of the Black Eyed Peas. He hauled off and punched Perez Hilton in the face a while back, a work of ethical civilization that has received too little applause. Some things are just right, you know?

Your third resolution is not to have children because you have nothing else to do. Why the revolting parents of Colorado's Balloon Boy failed to get charged with abuse eludes me, or the Octomoms, or the Ghostliness have the knowledge to prevent unwanted pregnancy and we shouldn't reward parents of children they cannot afford. Because neither can we.

Your last resolution, and it better be heartfelt, is to stop romanticizing anti-war activity. Just as it is evil and deceptive to suggest joining the Marines is no more dangerous than a few hours playing World of Warcraft, it is near equally as risible to append 'hero' status to those merely playing a role. There are actually worse things than violence - how about cultures that celebrate infibulation and clitorectomies, or institutional pedophiles, or actual slavery.

It's annoying that templates from the Vietnam Era - just as false as the lies that channelled us into that war - appear again. The public tires of wars after about seven years, whether our own revolution, Vietnam, or the current two. It has little or nothing to do with theatrical public protest.

It's a new decade. Let's move forward.