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Where Do They Find Them?

GOP candidates, I mean.....really, is this the cream of their crop?

This is Dark Cloud on Wednesday, July 28, 2010.

It's hard to tell if the media templates for the supposed forthcoming Democratic election disaster are entirely bogus or just the result of lazy reporting. There is evidence for either, but there is so much more to suggest Democrats might do way better than current conventional wisdom.

For example, California seems to be leaning to former Governor Moonbeam Jerry Brown with new polls showing a steady preference over Meg Whitman, whose campaign is self-financing, and that to the tune of $90 million already. Despite all and Ahnald, it looks like California gets a Democratic Governor. Even according to the Republican pollster Rasmussen, Democrat Barbara Boxer still beats Carly Fiorina for Boxer's Senate seat, once thought a certain loss.

In Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's Nevada, the once doomed Reid is leading over the GOP's Sharon Angle, a woman so politically incompetent and personally unstable she is kept away from the media, less she emit more of her insane blarney and drops deeper in the rankings.

California and Nevada were hoped-for Republican recoveries and it doesn't look good for that.

That brings us home to Colorado, currently the best buy in summer entertainment. That's not to ignore the fiasco that is the regrettable campaign of Democrat Andrew Romanoff, who deeply resented Governor Ritter appointing Michael Bennet to Ken Salazar's Senate seat. Inappropriate staff members, his inability to raise minimal money and, well, his lies about not taking money from PAC's when he certainly has, have likely crushed a once assumed star from continuing.

But wait. By the standards set by state Republicans this year, the Romanoff campaign is a near Frank Capra movie with a happy ending.

Running for the Senate in the Republican primary are two of the worst candidates for major office in memory. Ken Buck and Jane Norton have the combined charisma of a poorly embalmed monitor lizard on a hot day. Norton is the creature of Dick Wadhams, the leader of the state's GOP. She is a mouthpiece of cliche and inaccuracy while Buck's campaign panders to ignorance and bigotry but recently expanded to include misogyny when he said the reason to vote for him is because he isn't a woman and doesn't wear high heels. Norton hasn't been so sure of that, and suggested if Buck were a real man, he'd say the awful things about her to her face and not have third party PAC's do so. Buck recently baldly stated that Birthers - those who do not believe Obama's birth certificate or birth announcements - were "dumbasses", a statement of such pellucid beauty that one cannot help but soften a lesser heart ventricle for the guy, although he seems to have mistaken recent Old Spice commercials as real world and was campaigning to become their next spokesman. An antediluvian dumbass himself, yes, but he smells good, right ladies?

For Governor, the GOP presents two candidates of both bovine incompetence and no respect for the voters' intelligence. First, Don Maes, a supposedly successful businessman. Well, no. It turns out, he is draining his own campaign for five figures worth of gas money to support the family and has the annual income of a Bangladesh Chrysler dealership's overnight janitor. Nothing shameful, but if you run on the premise you're a successful businessman you should, you know, have been one. Maes was doing poorly and not expected to survive against former Congressman Scott McInnis, but that was before. Now a known plagiarist, a liar, a dissembler, McInnis added Bullying Thug to his resume by trying to intimidate the actual author of work McInnis claimed as his own, a man in his mid-80's, to sign off on a falsehood. His campaign imploded, and his he-man strutting in the television ads look hypocritical and are definitely painful.

But, then! Former Presidential candidate Tom Tancredo threw down his gauntlet and demanded both get out of the race or he'd get in. They stayed, he entered, but with the additional twist of dumping the GOP and its clique known as the Tea Party and now appears on the ticket of the American Conservative Party, because the Tea Party wasn't insane enough. Wadhams and Tancredo got into a shouting match on talk radio, the national Republican Party withdrew all money from this state's campaigns, and Colorado, having recently been a rather Red State, bypasses purple as it takes on a Royal Blue tinge. I actually feel sympathy for Dick Wadhams. The only thing worse would be if Boulderite Michael Brown announced for office, Allan Keys moved to the Springs, and Doug Bruce sucker punched Kathy Sabine for giggles on camera.

There are other races around the nation, but Gallop has two weeks of national polling showing the Democrats are again preferred over the GOP. If the Democrats get their butt in gear and run a constructive campaign, I'm not seeing much if any loss this November.